Good day today and Weigh in

                                                 

Picture found 

http://www.shophq.com/Cook_s_Companion_trade_Set_of_Two_22_oz_Mixer_Bottles_w_Flavor_Infusers_Storage_Containers/449-320.aspx?storeid=1&track=-51001&cm_re=ProdPage-_-CS1-_-449-320

Today was really good! Let's consider today day 1 because I cheated the other days. I had 

two nutriblasts today! One for breakfast and then one right now as I'm writing this. Experimenting is going a lot better now. 

Breakfast I know had to have a lot of protein in it so that I wouldn't get hungry. Therefore, I had a banana, peanut butter, maca powder, cocoa (real dark stuff), chia seeds, strawberries, protein powder, and almond milk. The taste was wonderful! I am a huge peanut butter fan! Jeremiah, not so much lol, so he made his own. Since it was really easy to clean he made his right up after mine! It's actually fun to experiment on what you want to try! So, just to recap...Saturday I had one and I was REALLY hungry by 7pm. Then, starving on the way home! Well, this one lasted me until my lunch break!!

I did prepare in case I got hungry like Saturday. I brought my water bottle that you see above and filled infuser with lemons and mint leaves. The bottom cup, I had protein powder in case I needed a drink to avoid getting shaky.Let me tell you the taste of the lemon/mint water was amazing. Unfortunately, a side effect is running to the bathroom every 1/2 hour lol. I just kept peeing water...but I kept in mind that it was my body cleansing itself. Now, everyone that knows me understands that I hate water. Mountain dew was my addiction! If it wasn't Mountain Dew, then it had to be flavored water via Crystal Light packets. This water naturally flavored allowed me to drink three of them with no problem at all. So good and refreshing! I also brought a protein bar, which you probably figured out was peanut butter! I also hard boiled two eggs and left them in my lunch. 

Lunch, I had one of those healthy choice frozen meals. I don't like eating those because I know the salt is bad for me, but considering this is the only solid food I eat it should be ok. I had one of my eggs.  Went back to work and around 10:30 started to feel some hunger pains, but knowing I had stuff prepared made it easier. I ate the protein bar and that did absolutely nothing for me! I don't know why those work for other's, but for me no way!! So, after work at midnight, had my egg and that held me over while going to the store to buy a few more veggies. We still have a lot of stuff left over so we may not have to go grocery shopping for awhile. Now how did I feel throughout the day?

I did have a lot of energy. My head seemed clear and I was able to walk up /down the stairs with no problem. I don't feel as bloated as I normally do! No headache today which is amazing! I did have a few mins of tiredness, but I think it was the emotional day I had. Sitting here right now, I feel energized! Something that I haven't felt in a long time. I wanted to go to gym, but Jeremiah didn't feel like it. 

Ok, we got home and of course by now I am hungry! I figured we haven't had a lot of "green" nutriblasts, so I decided that I would have a detox nutriblast. Jeremiah let me surprise him. I put in spinich, kale, parsley, chia seeds, maca powder, cucumber, blueberries, and water. I am not going to lie it tastes like we are drinking a cucumber. The color is really dark green..which is intimidating. However, it's really good. You sometimes feel like you a drinking a salad lol. I feel full and I don't even miss the sensation of chewing food. I think I finally found something that is going to work for me! I am ensuring that I have plenty of protein so I don't starve. I am very excited about how this day went!

My starting weight is 225.0. This is the weight I always come back to when I stop trying to eat right. I've always given up and right back up to 225. My first mini goal is going to be to get under 200! That would be amazing! I think I'm going to have my peanut butter nutriblast every morning. Detox at night for this week. This way I'm not having too many sugary fruits! I'm kind of on a high right now with the amount of energy I have. SERIOUSLY! It's not the placebo effect because Saturday and Sunday I was questioning whether I would be successful at this because I felt terrible! 

I'm not sure if I will do a blog daily or weekly during the weigh ins. What do you all think? Would you like to see a youtube video of me nutriblasting? A lot of exciting things going on right now. I just hope they continue! I am very determined!! I am kind of nervous to weigh in next week! 

NutriBlast and starting off this New Year good!

       We bought a juicer about a year ago after watching Fat, Sick, and nearly dead. This didn't get hardly used because it mashed all the fiber into a basket rather than putting into the drink. Therefore, it was missing the bulk of the nutrition.. Plus, it was a pain to clean it. We came across this infomercial this year and it let us know we can put seeds, skin, and everything (except certain ones like orange skin, kiwi skin, etc) and it would grind it all up to get all the value. This also was given great reviews, so, we ordered! It was delivered last Wed and we were so excited to try it. We went to the grocery store that Friday night!!! The first use was this past Saturday!

      I have to admit that I was scared because I get really shaky throughout the day because of my PCOS. I also worried about the money that would be spent at the store for all the veggies/fruits. This product suggests we should try replacing two meals with a nutriblast and so that's what we thought we'd try. We decided with our schedule we would do the meal before work and then when we came home at midnight have one. This makes most sense because having a meal before work is usually hard for me and since we get home at midnight it's not good to have a lot of calories. We only bought the stuff for the drinks and then just frozen meals for our lunch at work. We also got eggs to hard boil so that I could ensure I would have something incase I was to get shaky. Furthermore, we got a box of protein bars. Normally, we spend 100.00 a week on food. This trip we spent 104.00, but it saved us a bunch of processed foods and I knew I was doing something good for myself! So, I think it's a good trade off.

   We got home and washed all the berries with white vinegar and water and amazingly it is Sunday and they are still keeping. Berries normally seem to go bad over night. The leafy greens we rinsed and put away of course in air tight container. We have the berries left out so they don't go bad in the fridge! This brings me to the first nutriblast. The first one we tried had blueberries, blackberries, spinich, nuts and strawberries. The taste wasn't too good lol. I drank it at 2pm and wasn't hungry until 7pm. My lunch is normally at 8:15pm. I felt completely full until then! I also had a water bottle filled with strawberries, blueberries, and raspberries to flavor my water. I drank two large bottles of water. On the way home at midnight, I was starving. Like, cranky, shaky, and very unhappy lol. Came home and grabbed two pieces of pizza :( I was very disappointed in myself, but I told myself that I'm not going to give up.

    The next day we made another one. We had banana, spinach, peanut butter, strawberries, and almonds, and maca powder. This one was amazing! So, this showed me that I need to research some recipes to be sure I find ones that I like. Today, I had one with two oranges, strawberry, turmeric, maca powder, and spinach. It was really good as well! I noticed that yesterday, I could barely keep my eyes open when we came home. This is highly unusual for me as we normally stay awake until 4 am! I was out by 1:30. I also had a really bad headache. I slept late today as well. I thought well maybe this isn't working out. I did some research and found out the first week is "detox" and it's a good thing. It's your body eliminating the toxins in the body. It's also teaching your body to burn fat rather then processed foods. So, I'm going to keep going this week and will post an update at the end.

    I am doing this because if I can give my body as much natural foods as possible then maybe my body will lose weight. Furthermore, I'm hoping that it will kick in ovulation so I can get pregnant. I decided that in the middle of the day as snacks I'm going to have hard boiled eggs and a protein shake to get me through. I know that if I let myself get shaky then I will grab the closest thing to me. I will weigh in tomorrow (Monday) and then weigh in each Monday. We are going to try to go to the gym as well. Might not be this week if detox keeps being hard like this. I know that this is working and I'm learning a lot. I have had a lot of people announce their pregnancy around me lately and it just puts motivation into me to keep going. I won't give up on this. It's hard at first, but I know I can do it! I have to! I'm tired of the high blood pressure, fatigue, and being overweight. Jeremiah is doing it with me as well! He said we won't give up either.

   I would say that the nutribullet is worth the price and it's super easy to use and clean! I'm the laziest person ever and if I have no problem washing it then that's saying alot. I will continue to update as I really like the accountability of posting a blog through my experience. I like getting my thoughts out and re-reading what I've done in the past.

Thanks for reading :)

I am still alive and a lot has changed

I know it has been forever since I posted and I promise I have not forgotten about the blog. I have missed sharing my thoughts and so I figured why not post an update?

Since you last read a post on me I have fallen off the wagon again. I have been eating out every chance I get.. I did do pretty good with drinking water and even doing a low carb plan for awhile, but I got sick of the planning that it involves. Everything has Carbs in it so it's so hard to find something that you can eat that's good. Then, there's the problem of craving pizza, fries, Mountain Dew etc that really gets you. I was doing so well with the carb diet, but recently gave it up again. I haven't been to the gym in over 6 months, but still paying for it!! What is wrong with me? One thing, I have been working tons of overtime. We are talking 12 hour shifts 3:30pm-4am, going to school, and just wearing myself out physically as well as mentally.

As far as my infertility/PCOS journey....I have gone through 4 failed IUI's. For those that don't know, Iui involves taking medication to make you ovulate (release the egg) and then going to the doctor to be inseminated when you release the egg. Then, two weeks later you either get your period or you get to go through your monthly gift. I am convinced after 4 failed IUI's our only option is going to be InVitro fertilization which is literally 9,000-10,000 a treatment. After trying to hard through these expensive treatments (IUI), Jeremiah and I have decided to take the year off to help me lose weight. In order to do IVF, I have to be a certain weight.

I am going to try again with the low carb diet and no soda plan, which I really need to stick with. It's so hard! I also need to get back in that gym! Maybe when all the overtime stops, I can get back into the gym. I will do more research on PCOS to see what I can do to help it. If I am going to give up this whole year of trying for a kid, I need to make sure I'm not wasting it. Therefore, any support will be greatly appreciated. I have a tendency to give up when things are tough. This is when my motivation will be tested. I will try to keep up the blog!

The most candid post ever....Need feedback please!?!

   Hello. I normally have some smart photo at the top of each post, but I'm using my Ipad keyboard to type this in my comfy bed. I started walking last week Tuesday and weighed  myself which can be seen in previous post and now my weight is 224.4 disgusting. As most know I was discouraged because on Tuesday which was the official weigh in day I stepped on scale and it said 227 which devastated me. I decided to weigh myself today and got that number 224.4 and felt a little better, but now confused on which one to believe. Either way I just need to keep exercising.

   Time for confession time...I did mess up some over this past week including Wednesday. I get off work at midnight and usually I'm starving because lunch was back at 7:15 so Jeremiah mentioned Denny's on Tuesday after work technically wed.!!! So bad right? Well, we went and what I normally get is *cover eyes* the T-bone steak and eggs w/fries and coke!! This time I knew that I was trying to lose weight and remember this is right when I had just gotten that 227 number previous morning so I was in frustration mode too lol. I ordered buffalo chicken strips as a appetizer and ate 2.5 of them. Then, I ordered Build your own slam which I got eggs, sourdough toast, bacon, and fries. Then, to go I got a piece of Hershey's chocolate cake. Talk about feeling so incredibly guilty!!!! After we got home we chilled for a bit and then we decided we should do our walk lol....after our stomach settled. Well, I felt disgusted and bloated while I was walking and I kept thinking while I was walking down that road how I just saw that 227 and so what was the point of walking?? I kept wanting to cry bc I was like it's either enjoy food and gain weight or walk and gain weight anyway. Jeremiah of course was there trying to support me, but I just wasn't having it. I ended up doing two laps and going inside.   This is where I went to bed feeling miserable, bloated, and ugly, which I vented on Facebook.
 
    I woke  up the next morning and seen all the words of encouragement and thought I can't just give up like that based on one week. I got up at the normal time 3pm on our day off and weighed myself before I ate or anything and that's when I saw 224.4. I was happy, but hesitant in believing that number. I guess it doesn't matter because I decided to ignore the scale and just keep working out. I lounged around like normal and didn't eat anything which is really bad, but I usually don't eat till I'm shaky hungry on my days off. Jeremiah came into the room and he was like I want Mexican...All I kept thinking was of my mistake from the previous day Denny's made me feel horrible and so I suggested Subway. He didn't want Subway and so then he suggested Penn Station subs which I'm not going to lie  they have a special place in my heart LOL. I couldn't say no!! So, that's where I failed on Wed. as we went to Penn station for dinner. I had them hold the salt of course and got the Italian sub which they drip in cheese all over it. They pile onions, salami, ham, banana peppers, and tomatoes on it. My mouth is watering right now just thinking about it...this my friend is the fatty side of me talking!! Anyway, I asked for a small fry to share w Jeremiah instead of getting my own which is good. I also asked for a small drink instead of a medium or large. Regardless, it still isn't good that I gave in again. This is the only meal I ate all night including up to 3:35 am which is what it is now. Jeremiah and I went out walking awhile after Penn Station which is good.

    It felt wonderful to walk and I even tried power walking as much as possible. We tracked the distance using the car and it's a mile around each lap and we do three. Pretty good? I even tried running a certain part of it so I can build up the opportunity to run. When I ran I couldn't catch my breath and it felt like all my fat was jello LOL...it's either laugh or cry, but I pushed each time to where I wanted to end at and made it. I feel better walking now and mentally I want to run, but physically my body is against me. After the laps I felt very accomplished and had a  nice cold water waiting for me to drink at home with some crystal light. My back was full of sweat and I was thankful for the evidence that I pushed myself. So, this week no more hiccups...I'm not going to eat out as we did go grocery shopping today. I have all kinds of healthy food to get me through. What I'm working on is trying to figure out my breakfast and work lunches. This is the hardest part.

  We go to bed around 4:30 am and get up about 1:30 or  2 in afternoon on work days. We have to leave the house by 2:35 ish to get to work by 3:30-midnight. I get up and usually eat a bowl of cereal that don't stick with me (oatmeal squares) then leave for work. I pack smart one's frozen lunches and a 100 calorie Special K snack with a bottle of water to eat at 7:15 ish at night. I also drink a bottle of water at my desk (work at call center for shopnbc). Now, I used to have an ice cold Mountain Dew right by my computer as I worked, but if I want to get pregnant that won't fly so I gave it up this week. I get off work at midnight and we get about 12:45 am so we begin our ritual of watching dvr shows while cooking dinner. When dinner is done we eat about 1:30-2 am, but we do try to keep it healthy in all fairness. Then, we go out and walk our three miles then play on computer to fall asleep by 4:30 or 5am. Honestly this is our schedule. I'm putting it out there because we need serious help!! I've suggested cooking on Sunday for rest of week and having dinner for lunch at work then just eating something light when we come home, but J doesn't want to do that. I know I shouldn't eat the pre packaged food for lunch, but its the fastest thing to grab. I don't want plain sandwiches at work all the time. See the problem is...when you eat out a lot you lose the taste for "normal" food!! I don't know what to do, but this week I did buy pre-packaged stuff. I will put my grocery list up with a list of dinners this week for any feedback in another post tomorrow. 

   I'm still struggling, but the positives are: I've been walking A LOT more, gave up Mountain dew, drinking more water, watching what I eat, and being mindful of things I shouldn't be doing. This week will be no eating out. I don't care how much Jeremiah wants a yummy pizza lol or a fresh hamburger or amazing Mexican. Ugh, losing weight is difficult, but I think I finally have the motivation to do it. I know I need to it now so that I can get preggers. 

  Well, I can say that at least I come back to the blog right?? Must be some kind of hope somewhere in there. I'm sitting here thinking that this blog is really a reflection of what happens to my motivation. It's this on/off again type stuff. Right now, I'm at the heaviest I've ever been!! 225.8 in case you are wondering. However, now I want tog et back on the wagon. Once I tell you what's changed since my last post you might understand. So, lets get back into it.

  That job that I mentioned in my previous post has been amazing! I've been there almost two years now and have met some awesome people. The pay is good, it's stable, and everyone is down to earth. I even was promoted recently for the first time ever!! My next goal? I want to be a supervisor. Can you picture me as a supervisor? Me either!! But, I want to push myself to do it! This is reason number one that I want to lose weight. Whether someone wants to admit it or not...your looks say a lot about you and in the workplace is the number one area where I need to look the part so to speak. I have low confidence and part of that is because of my weight. My lack of confidence is what's holding me back at work...because I don't think I can do thing that normal people can. So, if I lose the weight then my confidence will come through! Now, lets not mistake confidence for being arrogant because that's something I never want to be. So, enough about work and let's move on to another reason shall we?

  Everyone that knows me understands that I am suffering from infertility and so let's just get it outta the way. Jeremiah and I have been married for 7 years now! We are both extremely happy with each other and know that we are literally a forever couple. The only thing missing is the fact I can't get pregnant!! He don't pressure me about it, but trust me it bothers him. We all know it bothers me as it's something I want more then anything. I have let it go for awhile now at least not thinking about it all the time, but little things will trigger it. For example, moms with their kids at the store, cute baby pictures, and stories of babies. I found out that my YOUNGER brother is now having his first baby! I am so excited about that because I'm going to be an aunt. It will be hard since they live in NY, but I'll make sure to be in the kids life. When I found out the news..I cried for HOURS and went through feelings of happiness, sadness, jealousy, and anger!! Now, I'm excited, but when I meet the kid...I'm going to probally go through all that roller coaster again. Furthermore, one of my good friends who I met at work has a daughter that has just gave birth to twins. Exciting, but I got to hear about all the ultrasounds etc...and the excitement all meanwhile my heart was breaking. I had to be a good friend so I brushed it off. She knows what I'm going through so she was sensitive to what she told me. Isn't that horrible? She had to contain her excitement around me because of what I'm going through!?!?! This makes me feel bad about myself too. Anyway, seeing my parents get all excited, buy baby things, and everything is making me sad...why? This was suppose to be me! I'm the oldest! Then I feel horrible for being sad when such a good thing is happening to the family. This is what infertility does!! Anyway, there's a pregnant girl at work to and she's about to go into labor..maybe at work!! She was having contractions the other night and I started getting jealous again..but then I thought you know what...you can help yourself by losing that weight!! I told myself if you want it bad enough you need to get out there and do it!! So, I'm using all this baby fever as motivation to get pregnant. 

   Another change is we moved to a very nice apartment. The nicest one we have ever had. This one is a two bedroom. Yes, I thought hmm now we have another room incase we have a baby lol. Right now? it's a computer room!! The nice thing about moving is there is a nice big area where Jeremiah and I can walk. Since we've moved here Jeremiah has gone out running and walking while I sat on the couch. He would invite me out and I'd say maybe tomorrow or no way! Each time I denied him, I'd feel that tinge of guilt because I knew I needed to be out there with him. I've been eating out and drinking that Mountain dew faithfully with no exercise! HORRIBLE. Finally, the last few weeks, I've been feeling bloated, fat, and very ugly! I hate looking at myself in the mirror. This is where it all comes full circle...I decided I need to do something. So, since Tuesday, Jeremiah and I have been walking and tomorrow I'm going to go with no Mountain Dew!!! *gasp* None!! 

I'm also apart of this group https://www.facebook.com/groups/488595871218821/members/     So, we are motivating each other to lose the weight. Then, I remembered about this blog! This is another tool to help me feel motivated/accountable. I'm back and I pledge to get off the couch!! Maybe do some youtube videos as well. I hope through my story I help inspire!! Please continue to motivate me if you are still here. 

Surprised to still see me?

                                                


      I realized that it was Saturday and as promised I had to weigh-in so that I can track my progress! On the 1st of January I weighed in at 224.2 and it was in the morning before I ate anything. I have been walking everyday that the weather isn't too cold. I need to make myself walk on the dreaded treadmill even though I hate doing that since I end up watching the minutes slowly tick by. I'm getting sick :( I'm also starting a new full time job so I'm going to have to figure out my time management skills for sure! I just have to force myself to work out when I get home. I'm also going to be getting my period within the next week or so...that means water retention is going to play a factor, but still going to work through the pain of being a woman to exercise. I have made another video that shows where I walk so that its not me just talking at the camera which could get pretty boring. I will record myself weighing in every sat. I tried to record the 224.2, but the light wasn't good enough in the video. I'm really feeling motivated and I'm excited about continuing this journey. I have received lots of support and I appreciate it so much. If you read my blog then please subscribe to my YouTube channel also which is : miahsangel all one word. I appreciate you following me in my journey!! I would highly recommend anyone that's doing this journey to keep a food diary because it REALLY shows how many calories and sodium your consuming. I can't wait for Spring so I can hit the park every day. It's gotten a lot easier to do the one lap (besides my breathing) and so I think I'm going to attempt 2 laps the next time I go out. You don't want your body to get used to a routine! Any comments will be appreciated & thanks again!

Link to my newest video: Where I walk Everyday
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dsiPRiQM5z8

Joining Youtube along with updates

    A week ago I started walking everyday at the park with my husband. The trail is about 1.25 miles with some pretty big hills to make it challenging. During that week I lost 3 lbs. My goal is to be 145-150 by the end of 2011 and that's where I should be. I have started using YouTube tonight to document this journey because it will hold me accountable as well as provide the support. It also helps make the blog more personal because me typing behind a computer screen don't let you see the whole picture. I am totally off Mountain Dew! I have cut eating out in half, but still needs much improvement. I'm letting my guard down by starting a video blog because people can be mean...but I know I can do this! I am more motivated then ever and I have the support of friends and family to help me through it. Seeing the 3 lbs come off was REALLY nice. I did gain it back this week since I took 3 days off of walking and the Holidays didn't help. But, I'm not letting that stop me...I know I can lose the 3 lbs again. I weigh in every Saturday first thing in the morning. I hpe you all will join me or support me. You can follow this blog or subscribe to my youtube channel or even both. Anyone that takes the time to do this...it means a lot for me. I'm making progress and will continue. I will post every Saturday and do a video which will be included in this post. Ok, so deep breath! Here is the first video I made....I was nervous keep in mind lol...