Hello. I normally have some smart photo at the top of each post, but I'm using my Ipad keyboard to type this in my comfy bed. I started walking last week Tuesday and weighed myself which can be seen in previous post and now my weight is 224.4 disgusting. As most know I was discouraged because on Tuesday which was the official weigh in day I stepped on scale and it said 227 which devastated me. I decided to weigh myself today and got that number 224.4 and felt a little better, but now confused on which one to believe. Either way I just need to keep exercising.
Time for confession time...I did mess up some over this past week including Wednesday. I get off work at midnight and usually I'm starving because lunch was back at 7:15 so Jeremiah mentioned Denny's on Tuesday after work technically wed.!!! So bad right? Well, we went and what I normally get is *cover eyes* the T-bone steak and eggs w/fries and coke!! This time I knew that I was trying to lose weight and remember this is right when I had just gotten that 227 number previous morning so I was in frustration mode too lol. I ordered buffalo chicken strips as a appetizer and ate 2.5 of them. Then, I ordered Build your own slam which I got eggs, sourdough toast, bacon, and fries. Then, to go I got a piece of Hershey's chocolate cake. Talk about feeling so incredibly guilty!!!! After we got home we chilled for a bit and then we decided we should do our walk lol....after our stomach settled. Well, I felt disgusted and bloated while I was walking and I kept thinking while I was walking down that road how I just saw that 227 and so what was the point of walking?? I kept wanting to cry bc I was like it's either enjoy food and gain weight or walk and gain weight anyway. Jeremiah of course was there trying to support me, but I just wasn't having it. I ended up doing two laps and going inside. This is where I went to bed feeling miserable, bloated, and ugly, which I vented on Facebook.
I woke up the next morning and seen all the words of encouragement and thought I can't just give up like that based on one week. I got up at the normal time 3pm on our day off and weighed myself before I ate or anything and that's when I saw 224.4. I was happy, but hesitant in believing that number. I guess it doesn't matter because I decided to ignore the scale and just keep working out. I lounged around like normal and didn't eat anything which is really bad, but I usually don't eat till I'm shaky hungry on my days off. Jeremiah came into the room and he was like I want Mexican...All I kept thinking was of my mistake from the previous day Denny's made me feel horrible and so I suggested Subway. He didn't want Subway and so then he suggested Penn Station subs which I'm not going to lie they have a special place in my heart LOL. I couldn't say no!! So, that's where I failed on Wed. as we went to Penn station for dinner. I had them hold the salt of course and got the Italian sub which they drip in cheese all over it. They pile onions, salami, ham, banana peppers, and tomatoes on it. My mouth is watering right now just thinking about it...this my friend is the fatty side of me talking!! Anyway, I asked for a small fry to share w Jeremiah instead of getting my own which is good. I also asked for a small drink instead of a medium or large. Regardless, it still isn't good that I gave in again. This is the only meal I ate all night including up to 3:35 am which is what it is now. Jeremiah and I went out walking awhile after Penn Station which is good.
It felt wonderful to walk and I even tried power walking as much as possible. We tracked the distance using the car and it's a mile around each lap and we do three. Pretty good? I even tried running a certain part of it so I can build up the opportunity to run. When I ran I couldn't catch my breath and it felt like all my fat was jello LOL...it's either laugh or cry, but I pushed each time to where I wanted to end at and made it. I feel better walking now and mentally I want to run, but physically my body is against me. After the laps I felt very accomplished and had a nice cold water waiting for me to drink at home with some crystal light. My back was full of sweat and I was thankful for the evidence that I pushed myself. So, this week no more hiccups...I'm not going to eat out as we did go grocery shopping today. I have all kinds of healthy food to get me through. What I'm working on is trying to figure out my breakfast and work lunches. This is the hardest part.
We go to bed around 4:30 am and get up about 1:30 or 2 in afternoon on work days. We have to leave the house by 2:35 ish to get to work by 3:30-midnight. I get up and usually eat a bowl of cereal that don't stick with me (oatmeal squares) then leave for work. I pack smart one's frozen lunches and a 100 calorie Special K snack with a bottle of water to eat at 7:15 ish at night. I also drink a bottle of water at my desk (work at call center for shopnbc). Now, I used to have an ice cold Mountain Dew right by my computer as I worked, but if I want to get pregnant that won't fly so I gave it up this week. I get off work at midnight and we get about 12:45 am so we begin our ritual of watching dvr shows while cooking dinner. When dinner is done we eat about 1:30-2 am, but we do try to keep it healthy in all fairness. Then, we go out and walk our three miles then play on computer to fall asleep by 4:30 or 5am. Honestly this is our schedule. I'm putting it out there because we need serious help!! I've suggested cooking on Sunday for rest of week and having dinner for lunch at work then just eating something light when we come home, but J doesn't want to do that. I know I shouldn't eat the pre packaged food for lunch, but its the fastest thing to grab. I don't want plain sandwiches at work all the time. See the problem is...when you eat out a lot you lose the taste for "normal" food!! I don't know what to do, but this week I did buy pre-packaged stuff. I will put my grocery list up with a list of dinners this week for any feedback in another post tomorrow.
I'm still struggling, but the positives are: I've been walking A LOT more, gave up Mountain dew, drinking more water, watching what I eat, and being mindful of things I shouldn't be doing. This week will be no eating out. I don't care how much Jeremiah wants a yummy pizza lol or a fresh hamburger or amazing Mexican. Ugh, losing weight is difficult, but I think I finally have the motivation to do it. I know I need to it now so that I can get preggers.
No comments:
Post a Comment